Seer of Sevenwaters Page 30

  Spider rose to his feet. “How do you intend to choose that crew?” he asked.

  “I’ll call for volunteers,” Johnny said. “Experienced men to sail Liadan; others with specialized skills. You realize what kind of mission this is. I don’t want anyone making a decision without thinking it through. Take some time, talk to your wives, and don’t make light of the immense risk involved. You need a few days, at the very least, to make up your minds. I won’t take volunteers from those involved in training the Connacht men. Our primary work is on Inis Eala, and we must maintain that.”

  “The boat may need refurbishment,” someone said. “That could take time. Is the plan to sail off as soon as possible after she returns?”

  “Every day counts for those men,” said Johnny soberly. “Work on the boat will start the day she comes in. Provided we have a crew, she’ll sail out as soon as she’s ready. Supplies can be assembled now, while we wait for her return.”

  A babble of talk had broken out all around the hall now as the implications began to sink in. I felt the women’s doubt and fear, the pull between pride in their men and terror that those men might be lost on a journey whose heroic intention was equaled by its appalling uncertainty. I felt the inspiration that filled the men’s hearts, the knowledge that here was a mission no true warrior could refuse. There would be volunteers, all right; far more than Johnny needed. I saw the light in their eyes.

  “Johnny,” said Gareth, “what happens if you don’t get enough volunteers to make up a crew?” It seemed to me he already knew the answer—there were no secrets between these two—but had seen a need for it to be stated publicly.

  “Then the mission cannot go ahead.” The implications were quite plain.

  “I’ve got a question,” said Sam, rising to his full, impressive height.

  “Ask it, then.”

  “What did you mean about Knut? We all know a man who acts as he has is banished immediately from the island. On the other hand, he’s a good fighter and to many of us he’s become a friend. What are these other plans you spoke of?”

  Jouko had been translating for Knut. Now Knut released a flow of impassioned words, gesturing toward Johnny. Jouko lifted his brows in question.

  “Translate it, please,” Johnny said.

  “Knut says he wants only to stay here and earn his place in the community that has welcomed him. He believes his fighting skills could be of great use to you. He swears there will be no repetition of last night’s events.”

  “One would certainly hope not,” murmured Gull, who was seated beside me.

  “Any more?” Johnny asked, looking at Knut directly.

  “And he says,” went on Jouko, translating, “it is his belief that all who were left on the serpent isle must have perished by now. As, indeed, he and his crewmen would have done if they had not sailed away when they did. The monster would have devoured them all. Knut says this is a fool’s errand, the sort of venture only a man such as Felix here would have conceived, for he is a scholar, full of dreams and softness. He is no warrior. Such a man has not the courage to fight.”

  Johnny did not speak immediately; he let the poison of these words stand for a while, so that every man and woman present could take it in. Then he said, “Felix, do you wish to respond to this?”

  Felix managed a crooked smile. “Few men could match my brother for courage. Now that he is gone, I must be brave enough for two.”

  “Well spoken,” said Gull, and I heard others echo the sentiment.

  “Knut,” said Johnny, “you are far from understanding the way things are done in this community. Your fighting skills are exceptional, and that has earned you friends among us. We have a rule here that the past can be forgotten, provided a man or woman is ready to start afresh, with the right attitudes and the right intentions. No, don’t speak—I heard what you said before, and I remain unconvinced of your sincerity. Only last night you attempted to kill this man. You put my cousin in danger. That alone should earn you banishment from Inis Eala, as Sam quite correctly pointed out. But there’s the question of Svala. She is not among us this morning—”

  He halted, gazing toward the open doorway. I turned my head to see a familiar figure standing there, barefoot, with her damp hair straggling over her shoulders. The look on her face was that of a deer facing a pack of wolves. I rose to my feet, walked over and took her hand, guiding her forward.

  Words burst out of Knut, a furious stream of Norse, and he strode across the chamber toward us, taking his guards by surprise. He was three paces from us before Niall seized him by the arms and restrained him. Svala’s hand trembled in mine. Fine, strong woman that she was, she edged behind me as if my slight form might shield her. Her breathing was shallow and quick.

  “Bring him back over here,” Johnny said. “Knut, stand still and face me—I’m not finished. We don’t have all of Svala’s story yet, but it appears you may have done her a great wrong, albeit with the best of intentions. I welcome you here, Svala,” a courteous nod, “and I hope we can set matters right for you.”

  “Set matters right? What do you mean?” demanded Knut.

  “Sibeal believes Svala was taken from the serpent isle against her will,” Johnny said levelly. “If that is shown to be true, then our mission will be not only to bring back the men who were left there, but to deliver Svala safely home.”

  A hubbub of talk greeted this. Johnny let it go for a while, then raised his hand for silence. “Knut, you will remain under guard for the foreseeable future. You’ll stay away from Svala. You won’t speak to her unless she requests it. As for your future, believe me, I am sorely tempted to banish you this instant. But I have always believed in giving a man a second chance.”

  I held my breath. How could he even think of having Knut on Inis Eala? The man did not know the difference between right and wrong. Or knew, and cared nothing for it.

  “When Liadan sails for the serpent isle, you will be on board,” Johnny said. “I’m not offering you a choice. If Svala wants to return there, you will take her. You will help our crew navigate. You will assist in the rescue of your abandoned comrades. When you come back from that place, if I see a change in you, a change I can truly believe in, then and only then will I consider your wish to remain among us. You are a good fighter. But we have many good fighters here.”

  By the time Jouko reached the end of his translation, Knut was no longer meeting Johnny’s gaze. He looked down at his boots, one hand nervously twisting the leather strip around his neck. Eolh was a rune of defense. It could not defend him against a man like Johnny, a man who saw deep inside to the fear, the weakness, the lack of self-belief. It could not keep out the wisdom and compassion that were woven through this harsh decision.

  “Sibeal,” Johnny said, turning toward the doorway, “does Svala wish to speak? Can she do so through you?”

  Now that Knut had been moved further away, Svala was steadier, but I felt her unease. The four walls, the fire, the press of folk, the sound of voices, everything unnerved her. She had come because she knew it was important. It was taking an immense effort of will for her to stay. It had been hard enough to convey my meaning to her down on the shore with only my sisters present.

  “She will be happy with what you’ve decided,” I said. “I will explain it to her in private.” After a moment I added what I sensed to be true. “She thanks you for undertaking the mission. From the bottom of her heart. She has already told me how much she yearns to go back to that place.”

  “Are you taking more questions?” someone asked.

  “If you need the answer now, yes,” Johnny said.

  “It’s not so much a question as a comment.” The speaker stood up and was revealed to be Badger, one of the older men. “I reckon there’s one thing a man would want to know before putting his hand up for this, and that’s whether there’s a chance anyone could still be alive in that place. I understand that we can’t know that. But if we could, it would make the choice a lot easier. If they
’re alive, it’s a heroic quest. If they’re all dead, it’s a fool’s errand.”

  Cathal stirred. He had stood behind Clodagh throughout the meeting, motionless and silent, his features set grimly. I met his eye, and a kind of recognition passed across his face. Would he break his self-imposed rule and offer to scry for this information? His comrades knew his parentage was somewhat unusual. I doubted that they understood the extent of his abilities, or the risks he faced in using them. Clodagh was frowning. I looked back toward my cousin.

  “It’s a fair comment, Badger,” Johnny said. “As you say, we can’t know. We must rely on what these dreams and visions tell us, and on our sense of what is right. No man should feel any compulsion to put his name forward. I will not think badly of any man for not wanting to go.”

  One of the younger men stood up, a sturdily built fellow with weathered skin and a head shaven bald as an egg. “I have a question for Felix.”

  Felix was tired. His face was waxen pale, but he held his shoulders square. Johnny glanced at him and he nodded.

  “I’ve been a crewman on a trading vessel between Dublin and the isles,” said the young warrior. “The voyage you’re talking about would mean days at sea with no scrap of land in sight; uncertain weather; no real means to chart a course. Cramped conditions, little rest, limited supplies. You tell us you’re no sailor, yet you say you’re coming on this trip. I’ll be blunt. This is a venture suited only to the strongest and hardiest of men. You may have done the trip once already, but it wasn’t as a crewman. And haven’t you been confined to the infirmary since the day you got here, under constant supervision, barely able to leave your bed? Scholar, aren’t you? If I were choosing a crew to undertake such a mission, you’d be one of the last men I’d pick.”

  “That’s blunt,” I heard Gull murmur.

  “I understand your argument,” said Felix, rising to his feet once more. “By the time Liadan sets out for the serpent isle, I will be ready.”

  A brief silence followed this statement, which was delivered in a voice both confident and strong. From where I stood with Svala near the doorway, I could see that Felix had his hands clutched together behind his back to conceal their shaking.

  “Five coppers says I can get him fit in time,” called out Gull, a grin spreading across his dark features. “Any takers?”

  There was a roar of laughter, followed by a chorus of offers. If these men liked anything it was a wager. Thus the meeting ended in a spirit of goodwill. Whether that feeling would continue once everyone had time to think about what lay ahead remained to be seen.

  Not everyone in the hall was diverted from the matter in hand by Gull’s moment of humor. Cathal always looked somber, but today he seemed to be walking under a personal shadow. I wondered what had provoked his apology to Felix last night, when he had spoken of misjudging him. Gareth was not his usual cheerful self. I put that down to lack of sleep; but perhaps he sensed an impending parting. If no other likely leader for the voyage offered his services, Gareth might feel honor bound to volunteer, taking on a duty Johnny could not perform himself. Such was the complicated bond of loyalty between this pair who were lovers, best friends and fellow warriors. My sisters were very quiet. Nobody had mentioned that I, too, would be traveling on Liadan, cramped conditions, trackless ocean, limited supplies and all. There were still some battles to be won.

  “Svala, we can go now,” I murmured, motioning to the outdoors. “Come with me.” I felt in her trembling grip a powerful need for flight. But I kept my hold on her until we were out in the yard, the two of us momentarily alone. “It’s all right,” I said, holding her with my hands and my eyes. “You will be safe now. Knut is not coming back to your cottage, or to your bed, unless you want that. And we will take you home.” I willed her to understand me; I made pictures in my mind, simple pictures I hoped would make sense to her. We stood there until other people began coming out of the dining hall. Their voices broke my concentration, and the link was gone. I felt suddenly drained. My knees had no strength. “Go now, if you want,” I said, releasing Svala’s hands.

  She was off in a flash, running down toward the bay in her bare feet with her hair streaming out behind her. Had I seen a smile before she turned away?

  “Sibeal!” Clodagh was there beside me, holding my arm, keeping me upright. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I’m a little dizzy. I need to sit down.”

  “Come back inside, let me get you some mead—”

  “I’m fine, Clodagh . . . ”

  “Rubbish, you’re about to faint. Now do as you’re told.”

  Spots danced before my eyes; I felt sick. Quite clearly, my legs were not going to carry me anywhere. I allowed my sister to steer me to a bench outside the hall, where I sat with my head bent over my knees, waiting for the weakness to pass. In the light of that man’s comment about Felix not being fit enough to travel, this was unfortunate. It became even more unfortunate when Johnny came out of the hall and moved to crouch down beside me. “Are you ill, Sibeal?”

  I shook my head. A bad idea; my stomach roiled. “No, I’m . . . it’s just . . . with Svala, it can be exhausting . . . ”

  “Clodagh will take you over to the infirmary to rest,” Johnny said. “After last night, this is not surprising. Sibeal, you and I need to talk later. I’ll come and see you when you’ve had some sleep.”

  “I need to go,” I said with my eyes shut. “The gods . . . ”

  “Shh,” Johnny said. “We’re going to do this calmly, carefully, with the best preparation we can. Time enough to talk when you’ve rested. Could you walk now?”

  People were streaming out of the hall and back to their work. The eyes of every potential crew member of Liadan might be on me. “Of course,” I said, rising to my feet and feeling the earth tilt beneath me. “I’ll just—” I took one step, then fell into darkness.

  I woke in my little chamber, feeling perfectly well though still somewhat weary. I lay there awhile, looking at my charcoal runes and wishing very much that I had not demonstrated such weakness in public. I could remember little after I fainted, but I did have a dim recollection of someone carrying me, and Clodagh tilting a cup of water so I could drink. The light around the door suggested it might be midafternoon. I must get up, dress, prepare myself. Some time today I would have to present my case to Johnny; I had no doubt that was what he wanted to discuss with me. My collapse was not going to make things any easier. Perhaps I should be asking Gull to train me as well as Felix.

  It was very quiet in there. Maybe everyone was catching up on sleep. I got out of bed, picked up my shoes and pulled the curtain aside.

  The only person in the infirmary was Felix, and he was not asleep but standing by the hearth looking straight at me, as if he had been waiting for me to emerge. I wished I had brushed my hair before I came out. I wished . . . And then, without thinking much about it at all, I walked straight across to him, and he opened his arms, and I went into them. He had held me once before, briefly, but this was different. It felt like coming home from a long journey, and at the same time it felt like the first day of spring, when all the beauty and possibility of the season lies ahead. We stood there without speaking a word, his arms around my shoulders, mine around his waist, my cheek against his heart, his fingers moving against my hair. I will not think beyond this moment, I told myself. I will store this up to remember always.

  It was Felix who stepped back first, taking my hands in his and lifting them to his lips for a moment. “You look pale,” he said in a voice that was markedly unsteady.

  I had thought my cheeks might be as bright as rosebuds. My blood was surging; inexperienced as I was, I recognized the signs of desire in my body. “I’m quite well,” I said, but in truth I was confused, troubled and perilously happy all at the same time. “I was tired, not sick. I must have been sleeping for ages—where is everyone? Did you rest?” I heard myself babbling, filling the silence with empty words. I made myself stop. I sat down on the bench b
y the hearth, and Felix sat beside me, holding my hand. His touch warmed me all through. I could not make myself withdraw my fingers from his clasp, though it seemed to me I should, for what had just occurred between us must not be encouraged.

  “I worked with Gull for a while, then he sent me back here to rest. But I have not slept; my mind is too full for that. Gull has gone down to the married quarters to sleep. He was struggling to stay awake. Evan and Muirrin are talking to Johnny. And I am here, as you see. Waiting for you to wake up, Sibeal.”

  After what had just happened, I felt oddly shy with him. “You seem different,” I said.

  “I am the same man I was yesterday.”

  “Stronger. More sure of yourself. Yesterday, I would have thought you could never be ready in time to make such a voyage. Today, I don’t doubt that you will be.”

  “Johnny believes me,” Felix said. “That makes all the difference. If I seem stronger to you, that is good. I must convince every man who goes on the mission that I can play my part.” He hesitated. “Sibeal . . . there is something I must say to you. I think it will not please you.”

  I had no idea what he meant. I hoped he was not about to say anything that would spoil the memory of his arms around me, his tender touch, the touch not of a friend, but of a lover. I could still feel it, a gift, a promise, a rare thing to be cherished, wrong as it was.